I can’t remember when I came up with the “Birthday Game” but it goes like this– at some point during a friend’s birthday, I like to ask two very specific questions:
- What was your favorite memory of (previous age)?
- What are you most looking forward to this year?
I think everyone around me is used to my quirky little ideas and inquiries, but I enjoy these questions because the answers are insights into friends’ th0ughts and feelings, even if I’ve known them for a million years (hey Carla) or we’re brand new buddies. We share almost every aspect of our vies quotidiennes with anyone who will listen but seldomly take the time to really ask what’s going on in the hearts and minds of our closest companions. And what better day than their birthday, si o no?
So with that in mind and seeing how this is my blog and yesterday was my birthday, I figured I might as well join the fun on the flip side and answer the questions I’ve posed to all of yous through the years.
What was your favorite memory of 26?
- Where do you begin with a full year of life spent in Peru? Twenty-six took me from Ecuador to Cuzco, from Chachapoyas to Tumbes, from having a drink at the wealthiest Country Club in Lima to respectufully looking on as one of my student’s mother guts the chicken that will become my lunch. Almost every day brought a moment or a memory that will stay with me forever. Because if we’re really honest here…the choice we make to become Peace Corps volunteers is just not normal. I don’t mean normal in a good or bad way, just something completely foreign for a majority of the American population. This abnormality makes for more outstanding memories in one single year than the past four years combined. I have countless anecdotes of time spent with students, my host family, successful projects and traveling around this magnificent country. But 26 for me is too much to be defined by one single memory. It’s more defined by something that’s been present for about the last two months. I find myself waking up every day with an overwhelming sense of peace and accomplishment and success. An effortless happiness has blanketed over me, something I can only explain as a result of finally internalizing the things that have been said to me since day one in the Peace Corps. I can’t express how much its meant to hear things like “I’m so proud of you” or “what you’re doing is amazing” or “not just anyone can do something like this.” Who doesn’t love to hear these encouraging words from friends and strangers alike? But nothing compares to the feeling of knowing them to be true yourself. I’ve realized that I’ve made it. I am finishing. I voluntarily embarked on an immeasurable challenge of commitment and determination and heart and not only did I survive…I crushed it. I did the damn thing (if I do say so myself!) I have given everything for the wonderful youth in my site, done the best I could with the resources that I’ve had. Did I get tired? Yes. Did I get frustrated? Lord, yes. But I am immensely proud of what I accomplished on a professional level, especially yesterday’s college fair that, with the support of local counterparts, went miles above and beyond last year’s event. On a personal level, I think it’ll take years for me to understand the full impact of my time here. I read something recently: “Some experiences are so big, they change your DNA.” That’s exactly what it feels like. Secretly, quietly, I sometimes wondered if I’d face a moment when I’d decide that I didn’t want this for myself anymore. If I’d question whether the hardship wasn’t worth the reward, and that I’d be better off going home. There are so many unknowns in our lives here, it crossed my mind that maybe any one thing might one day be too much. But today, I can speak candidly and openly about my fears because I know for certain that my heart was in-it-to-win it until the very end. The often-cited “Hardest Job You’ll Ever Love” motto is point-blank and spot-on. I am lucky in that I didn’t face some of the unfortunate situations other volunteers did, but I also stayed committed, in the moment and lived with my heart on my sleeve. I know so many of you are proud of me, but nothing feels better than being able to write that I am proud of what I’ve done and who I’ve become. Now I know, without a doubt, that I posses the grit to do anything I set my heart to. This feeling, as simple as it is powerful, is what I’ll remember the most about being 26.
What are you most looking forward to this year?
- As I gracefully cross into offical “late 20s” territory, gone is the dread of inching one year closer to 30 and feeling like an ol’ biddy whose best days are behind her. Who here hasn’t heard me lie to a complete stranger, and say that I am, almost comically, much older than I really am (‘I’m in my late 30s, I swear’). Because that’s how I felt. Now, I’m learning age is insignificant when you’ve got so many things to look forward to, starting with a well-deserved three week vacation that includes a Jay-Z and Beyonce concert in San Francisco. Talk about a homecoming!
hey bey!
It’s interesting that my birthday coincides with my last days in Peru, starting a new year and a new life all at once. Twenty-seven seems full of promise, positivity and optimism.
Betty Zee in PC 